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SWIMMING through Conflict with a Teammate

By: Toni Armstrong, MSEd, Performance Leadership Consultant

Conflict is inevitable. But how can you address conflict with a teammate in a productive way? Check out these strategies from Performance Leadership Consultant Toni Armstrong, and you’ll be SWIMMING toward a successful resolution.

S - Simmer down

Whether the conflict has grown over time or sprung up at the moment, work through your emotions before addressing the conflict.

W - Write it down

Spend a couple of days jotting down your thoughts and why the conversation is important. Make a list of things you want to say during the conversation.

I - Invite them to talk

Invite the other person to talk. Decide if you both want to have a third-party mediator (like a teammate or coach) join.

M - Meet in person

An in-person meeting creates a stronger social bond than email or text and helps foster that narrative of caring and respect you want as a leader. If you cannot meet in person, a phone or video call is your next best option. Never have difficult conversations over text, email, or through apps.

M - Maintain composure

Keep your emotions in check at all times. If you sense either one of you getting defensive, take a break from the chat and try again later.

I - Inquire about their perspective

Once you have shared your thoughts, make sure you give them an opportunity to share theirs and truly listen. Summarize and repeat what they shared to confirm that you understood correctly.

N - Name potential solutions

Work together to come up with potential solutions for the conflict, and select one that you both can agree on trying. If this is difficult, ask your third-party person to help.

G - Give gratitude

Thank the person for taking the time to listen, share, and work through the conflict together. A compliment or two about what you appreciate about them doesn’t hurt either.


Need more practice building your leadership skills? Check out the Lead Academy Leadership Course with Toni and get started today.